Whatever Works...

The weather today was not optimal for cycling.  Not even close.  Rain, thunder, lightning and even hail fell from the sky.  After yesterday's storm debacle, I came home from work today and took a nap without even debating whether to try to get a short ride in.

Then I talked to Fred.  Fred is my riding partner for this September ride.  He and his wife are in Colorado for the next couple weeks, and we kicked around the idea of Adam, Aislynn and I driving down to Aspen for the weekend so that Fred and I could practice together on a longer ride.
Turns out this is a bad weekend for hotel vouchers.  We tried three or four different cities nearby and I was pretty much ready to give up on the plan.  Adam and I started to discuss other alternatives for what would be a solo ride for me somewhere here in Wyoming or possibly in Utah.

Then Fred's sister and brother-in-law graciously offered to let us stay with them in Grand Junction AND to do a 35-mile ride with us on Saturday.  Peter and Dianne are avid cyclists.  We made some tentative plans and I hung up.  And immediately started to worry.

 I worried so much that I got dressed for riding.  Adam only slightly raised his eyebrows as I headed out into the cold, damp, windy evening.  I rode around, doing the exact opposite of Layne's advice.  Instead of enjoying my cadence and the gorgeous Wyoming landscape, I was frantically climbing, climbing, climbing, worrying the whole way.

What if I can't keep up?  What if the ride is too long?  What if they take one look at my chubby thighs and round stomach and think, 'Yeah, good luck.'  What if I disappoint Fred?  What if I disappoint myself?  What if I can't handle the climbs?  I worried up hills, down hills, through downtown and along Highway 30.

What am I worrying about?  That I get to do a benchmark ride with 6 weeks still to go?  That I get to do a longish ride with experienced riders who can observe me and make suggestions?  That I can pick their brains about what to bring, how to handle problems, how to get my mind straight for the challenge?  How are any of these things bad? 

I know it's not good.  I know I have to get over it.  I know I need to take each day one at a time.  I know I need to toughen up.

But on the bright side, my worrying did get me on my bike tonight. ;)